Today Was a Struggle

 

Today was a struggle to wake up, to get showered, get moving. It was a struggle preaching and a struggle driving. I went back after our message, to a smaller congregation that didn’t seem to have much interest, and just slept. I woke up even more tired than I had been previously.

 

In ministry terms I accomplished almost nothing today. But I sat with my family, I talked with God, and I rested - all things that actually are victories of some sort. I need to make sure they are victories in themselves - not just if they lead to a stronger ministry.

 

I feel so weak, like I’m no longer able to support the insane growth the ministry has had. But was that ever my job to do? So what if I can’t do it all? All I can do is give what I have to God, and right now that’s not much. And besides, the worst thing that can happen isn’t the ministry dying. The worst thing that can happen is if the ministry gets built on Carla and I’s strength, and leads people toward us instead of toward Christ. 

 

My verse for the year: Stand in the presence of the Lord and wait for Him to act. Psalm 37:7

 

I think I’ll just have to take that literally.