Invictus

I just watched Invictus on the plane back to Africa. Good movie. Like so many people of my generation, God speaks to me in movies. Not every movie, but quite a few of them. Invictus is the story of Nelson Mandela and Rugby in South Africa, which was mostly a white sport. Anyway, what got me the most wasn’t the story, but it was Mandela himself. He was locked up in jail for 30 years, beaten many times, and forced to do hard labor, but he walked out of that prison ready to forgive every one of his captors. Woah. The injustices I’ve faced recently seem so petty in comparison. Jesus did so much for me, and I want to walk out on what He’s asked of me because of paperwork problems. Wow, that really put it in perspective for me.

Confidence

Many people think I’m a confident person who always know what to do. That’s unfortunate. Nothing could be further from the truth, actually. I’ve always been nervous and only confident in my ability to mess things up. I do have times where I think I can handle everything and that I’m awesome, but those are worse – that’s an equally great lie and pride is a huge sin. Actually, on closer examination, I think both attitudes are prideful.

Problems

Wow… We have had so many problems and difficulties. It’s been a hair-raising last couple months. Problem after problem after problem… We have had many people counsel us that God was closing doors on us. I’ve prayed and listened, and prayed and listened about this, and honestly feel like God is calling us back. And in that case, of course there’s going to be difficulties. The higher the calling, the more you’ll face problems. But God often does work through circumstances… I don’t know; I guess I’ll find out soon enough whether God was calling us back or not. That’s another one of those problems – you’ll never know if it was God or not unless you try. You’ll always be stuck wondering if it was God if you don’t step out on it. Anyway, here are some of the problems we’ve gone through in our attempts to get back to Africa:

Washington DC:

I had to fly to Washington to get our visas taken care of. I wasn’t really looking forward to going:it was expensive, should have been unnecessary (if we had received our letters of invitation in time), and a huge stressor because I didn’t know if we were going to be able to get our tickets in time. I was arrivingat 11:30 am in Baltimore, and the embassy closed at 1 pm – I had no idea how I was going to get there in time to do anything. I knew I had to take the train from Balitmore to Washington, and that the train would arrive at 12:40. I was thinking about either taking the bus, renting a bike, or running the 2-3 miles to the embassy. Anyway, I spent almost the entire morning praying about what I should do (bus, bike, run etc.), and God never gave me a clear answer. I was really confused about that, until I got to Baltimore and my friend said that he skipped work that day and could actually pick me up. Praise God… I was able to get all of our visa applications in and get a money order before the office closed down. The money order was actually another testimony. I walked over to a bank, and they told me that they don’t do money orders, but the convience store next to them did, and at a cheaper rate. So I went next door and stood in line for a while. Finally, it was my turn, and as I handed the cashier the credit card, he told me that they only took cash. I asked him who on Earth carried $200+ dollars in their pockets, then remembered that I had just preached at a church in Arkansas and they took up a cash offering for me. It ended up being just enough (and like $3 more) to get the money order. Praise God – He thinks of these things way before they become a problem.

Welcome!

I was praying a couple days ago and I felt the Lord was leading me to start a blog where I am totally open about my walk with Jesus - my struggles, hardships, victories and defeats. When we talk in churches, it's almost always about the testimonies - Miracles, the times where God really showed up and saved us, and times where we've totally trusted in God and He came through. I almost think that's unfair - most of my life following Jesus has been hard and painful; crucifying my flesh and facing my fears even though I didn't want to. Sure, the testimonies are amazing and I 100% believe that following Christ is worth it, but that's only half of the story.

Was it really God talking to me to start this blog? I don't know, but it sounds like something He may say to me, and I'll never know if I don't do it and see what happens. I hope you enjoy,