Rough Times

God can give you all you need. He will give you more than enough. You will have everything you need for yourselves. And you will have enough left over to give when there is a need. -2 Corinthians 9:8

Sunday was a rough day. I was at a really low point and finances were really bothering me. It takes $7,000 a month to keep us running and August and September only brought in $4,200. We had a couple bills we couldn’t pay and were in ‘creative accounting’ territory with some others - delaying payment so we could pay others. I was on the verge of picking up the phone and starting to call the people I knew that may be able to help in case of emergency, thinking this may be a test of my pride. I ended up choosing to contact some people God had put on my heart to encourage instead. Carla and I had a long conversation; she hasn’t been nearly as bothered this time around.

Then breakthrough started. After multiple months of no unexpected donations, we had 3 in the same day. Tuesday was breakthrough in our website work - after much discussion we had three people pay for work and a large contract for next year finalized. God came through again in incredible ways.

In college, living by faith was cool. We got to see God’s miracles around us and he provided over and over again for mission trip and other things he was laying on our heart. Then faith was me and Carla, going to Africa with less than $200 for 9 months but full of faith. That was scarier because it was our lives at risk; we knew no one and didn’t even know where we would be staying. But it was just us.

Then the kids came along. People started freaking out when they heard what kind of situations we’d be raising our children in… They only knew a small portion of it - that’s when we started down-playing some of the issues we were facing because others would worry if they actually knew the danger we were facing.

And then we started Equip Mozambique and things got even more real and more intense. Now other people and other families were depending on me. This responsibility is a great burden on me and the thought that we may not be able to pay salaries is always a huge worry. My friend pointed out to me…

“You’ve risked a lot of Jesus. You’ve sacrificed. Are you allowing others to risk and sacrifice as well?”

Anyway, today is a day of praise - that God does generously provide, and that we are taken care of. Today is also a day of reflection - why do I still feel this heavy burden when I am certain God will provide, and how can I give that to God? This seems like my never-ending struggle; as soon as I overcome it at some level, God ups the ante and I have more staff, larger projects, or more people depending on me. Maybe what I really need is a paradigm shift.

 

Galatians 6:1-3

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. - Galatians 6:1-3

I find these verses very interesting. We usually separate verse 1 from 2 and 3. “Share each other’s burdens” actually means helping one another out in their sins, not just lending a helping hand. And “importance” is said with the same backdrop.

What stops us from helping others, particularly those who have been struggling with the same sin for a long time? The same things Paul points to in verses 2 and 3, we don’t want to share the burden. They fell, it’s their job to get back up is the general sentiment. However, Paul is exhorting us; that is not how the body of Christ should work. We need to come alongside and raise them up. It’s not just their struggle; it’s ours. This is particularly important in dealing with believers with long-term addiction. If you’ve been using drugs for 15 years, you will rarely be changed overnight. Yes, it happens, but we should expect a long, dedicated fight for this person’s soul.

Verse 3 can be much more subtle. We don’t want to associate with "that kind of person;" we feel like it’s beneath us to do so; all the other members of the church don’t have this kind of problem, etc. What if the sins they have been overcome by is anger or gossip - social sins? Do we still have the same grace for them as other sins?

I can still remember one small group meeting where one of the guys admitted he was lazy. We had talked about sexual struggles and all these other problems but it felt like a whole new level when he confessed that. Because of the work ethic in Rolla, that was deeper and harder to deal with than sexual temptation! God still wanted to deal with it.

 

Striking the Rock

I’ve been reading in Numbers where Moses strikes the rock. From all outward appearances this was a success - a miracle happened, all the people were provided for… But Moses himself was punished for the incident.

This concerns me because it means you can do ministry and be praised by everyone around but still do wrong and be on God’s bad side. Yes, feedback by the people around you is important but it’s not everything. A parallel Jesus verse would be “What good is it to gain the whole world but lose your soul?” It’s entirely possible to do miracles and cast out demons in God’s name but never know him.

It’s a difficult time here for us. Our projects are praised and the way we train up leaders, and we have a solid staff. But people die, needs go unmet, and we don’t have responses. Are we too focused on ministry and not on the people? Is that protecting the acorn or losing sight of the greater goal? As I told Carla, if I knew I was doing something wrong I’d instantly change it; if I knew I was doing right I would be able to trust in God, but when I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing my trust flounders.

I think this goes into being a good listener. Moses went to God but left understanding the wrong thing. We need to spend time understanding God’s perspective, slowly digesting His words, and not shoe-honing what He tells us into simple yes-nos of how we see the situation. I can so easily see this happen to me - I go to God with a problem, He says He’ll solve it with a rock so I jump up and go about obeying, not paying attention to exactly what He’s told me. Just like I can often miss what people are really saying because I haven’t really thought about it or it’s so different than what I am expecting.

Like Friday, when someone asked to go to church with me but in a Mozambican way. I only understood looking back on it, and only understood when I was already sitting in church. It happens often, particularly with Mozambicans. “Yes” and “...yes” mean the opposite so I can’t just pay attention to the words but the tone of voice and speed too - that it difficult for me.

 

God was Never Rule-Based

I'm reading through Numbers 18 today. God in the Old Testament has a number of extremely specific laws and guidelines. I can see why cults form on  the basis of a couple verses that mainstream Christianity doesn’t obey… The forceful way God says it makes it sounds like this is a law that is very close to His heart.

I think the OT and its very specific laws give us a couple options relating to God:

 

1. God was very specific and rule-based but isn’t anymore. However, this doesn’t fit with the Bible’s assertion that God is the same yesterday today and forever.
   
2. God was very specific and rule-based and still is but the rules are different. This mindset is common and leads us to think that God is specifically looking for obedience. It leads to churches that are technically correct but people’s hearts are far from God and mercy towards one another is absent.
   
3. God was never rule-based but the Israelites angered Him to the point of greatly specifying all rules. I could buy into this one. The only problem is that, while you could possibly see this in the story, the Bible never comes out and says this. Additionally, the Bible is very clear as to what are God’s original intentions (for example, going directly into the promised land) and what parts of Israel’s story happened because of their disobedience (the 40 years in the desert). Taken as a whole, the Bible describes the law as a necessary part of God’s plan.
4. Lastly, that the God was never rule-based but He used rules to teach His people until they could truly understand worship in spirit and truth. I think this is an important place to get to. 

I believe this last option is clear in scriptures for the following reasons:

God had friends that didn’t follow or obey the law and He didn’t try to force the law on them (Adam, Enoch, Job). The absolute vagueness of many of the laws of the New Testament. “as often as you do this” about communion; most of the laws are internal, fulfilling Jeremiah 33:31 about writing the law on their hearts. Jesus’s principle complaints weren’t about people not following the law; rather, they were about not following the principle of the law. The pharisees did very well at obeying the law but they weren’t friends of God and Jesus often opposed them.

I am not sure why, but it seems rule-following is deeply ingrained in religious folk, much more than the standard population. It may be because it’s easy to judge who is doing right and who is doing wrong, or it may be something completely different.

As an aside, I find our lives in Mozambique are much more on the rule-breaking side than the rule-following. Our lives in the US are 100% kosher to your standard church. Here, we only go to church once a week (and have a small group), we spend more time in individual time with God than corporately, because we’re not as animated in worship people think we are less spiritual, the way we pray appears that it doesn’t have power, and our obsession with unity in the body of Christ makes it appear that we are rebellious. But it’s interesting to be on the fringe here, I think it gives me more compassion for those whose lives aren’t by-the-book, both here and in the US.

 

Obedience at the Wrong Time isn't Obedience

It’s a free day here in Beira - Armed Forces Day. Usually on free days I take the time to learn something new. Today I read the rest of the Power of Habit and in Numbers 14.

Numbers 14:39-45 is a stark example of how obedience at the wrong time isn’t obedience. After the Israelites sinned against God and didn’t want to go to the promised land, God told them to wander the desert for 40 years. After God told them that, they decided to obey - marching into the promised land, but without Moses and without the Ark. There are always two battlefronts to every fight; the physical battle and the battle of the heart. If you don’t win the battle for the heart, you won’t win the physical battle.

God offered to be with the Israelites when they were conquering the promised land. He promised the Israelites a good land and a land of milk and honey - whoever, the people of Israel were shocked that there were giants in the land. God’s promises to us don’t come without a fight. However, God always tells us that he will be there with us and we can fight the giants together.

The Israelites saw the giants as greater than God and started wailing and complaining. They lost the heart battle and God said they could try again in 40 years. After they heard the alternative, they decided they were sorry but you can tell their heart didn’t change - it was still in the wrong place or they would have refused to fight without the ark or without Moses.

In what ways do God and I want to conquer the same thing but I’m not doing things in His way or His timing?

What kind of battles do I fight without the ark of the covenant or my spiritual leaders?

In what ways has God disciplined me and I responded the same way the Israelites did - without the correct change in heart but with a surface-level change in attitude only?

 

The Most Celebrated Giver

Jesus sat down near the collection box in the temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. Then a poor widow came and dropped in two small coins. Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I tell you the trust, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.” -Mark 12:41-44

Wow. Like everything Jesus, it’s just so counter-cultural. We celebrate the large donations, the huge amounts, and despise 50 cents here, $2 there… We look to the wealthy for advice on finances and life, and think the poor have nothing to give. Money is power, especially in Mozambique where there is absolutely no limit on what you can do with it. Want to sleep with a bunch of women? Want to kill and elephant or lion? Want to break the law? Everything has a price, even the things that should never be able to be bought.

So why did Jesus say this widow gave more than all the others? And, even more strangely for me, why didn’t he walk in and bless the socks off this lady? He could have given her an oil jar that never ran out, multiplied some bread, gave her money etc… But he didn’t. I have friends that give us $5 a month or $20 a month and they are so hard up financially I told them they really shouldn’t. But that wasn’t Jesus’s attitude.

And again, we’re back at money and back to a verse that quickly proves I don’t really understand money biblically. With leadership, the path is radically different than what the world does but I understand it; I understand why it works and how to go about doing it. Serve, consider others better than yourself… Though there are some basics, there are many nuances. But I get them and understand how these verses fit together.

Money? Not so much. The only thing I’m really good at is in not spending it, and having many ways of earning it. Even things as simple as “If you are annoyed at taking a job you are not getting paid enough for it” and “Other people can assume some of the risk” are things I am learning but at a slow pace.

And then 2 copper coins… I have my door wide open for large donors, people of influence and international visitors. Do I have it as open for widows, small donations, and the nobodies? Can I without driving myself insane? Do I see donations from the eyes of heaven or my natural eyes?

Just like the last lesson, Jesus isn't condemning the big donations but we should:

• Pay attention to the sacrifice the person made, not just the amount
• Not rush to helping people out in a transactional way when we know they are hurting

And in our own donations:

• Judge not on the number but on the sacrifice
• Give with joy and give willingly
• Avoid comparing ourselves to others or we may despise the little we can give when it may be the greatest gift at he moment.