Hands-on Knowledge

“If you love me, you will obey my commands. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – John 8:31b-32

When I was in college, I had a chemistry class. The chapter happened to be on chemical reactions and there was the formula for touch explosive there, along with information about the chemical reaction that caused the explosion. I called my brother, who was an avid fan of explosives and said,

“Dude, I know how to make touch explosive”.

His response? “It’s easier in deer hunting season.”

“Huh?” I thought… “What does he mean by that?”

He went on, “Yeah, the hardest to get chemical is then at Walmart, because people use it to cover their scent when hunting. Oh, and don’t make too much of it at one time, otherwise it can set itself off on the toaster oven and scare your roommate half to death.”

Who really knew touch explosive? Sure, I had read about it in a textbook and 100% of what I learned was factual, but I didn’t really understand it. I didn’t have the experience my brother had. I think that’s like a lot of believers today. There’s an understanding of God and a deep understanding of scripture, but nothing replaces that experiential practice of living out the word of God.

We want to know the truth before we act. We want God to convince us that what He’s told us to do is right, but Jesus said it doesn’t work like that… It’s only after you obey that you’ll understand. When you read a scripture, are you looking for more head knowledge? Are you looking for scriptures that say what you already believe? Or are you looking for answers for how to live? 

When you read about Abraham being told to sacrifice Isaac, are you glad He hasn’t asked you to do that, or do you search yourself for the things he is asking you to give up? The real power of the Gospel isn’t found in the words, but in the application and the obedience. We can say we know Christ like I thought when I read that formula in a textbook, or we can really get to know him, daily, with all of the reality and pain that entails.

My health has been deteriorating over the past couple weeks and I realized that my workload was the #1 thing I could do to fix it. There was really no way around the fact that I was doing too much stuff. The past two weeks, I have spent quite a bit of time telling people no. I have called to cancel a couple key contracts, including the one that was keeping our family financially afloat. It was good money but the stress and always-on hours inevitably occurred during my quiet time or on vacation. Carla has complained that many vacations had been ruined by it, and I struggled to delegate it. A phone call could be in multiple languages from multiple countries about anything from networking to system analysis to a crashed server, and unlike our website business, it was 100% on my shoulders. I knew it was bad when she said she would support me cutting the contract even if it meant moving into a smaller house or getting by without a personal car, but thank God for that kind of support.

I am again in a place where I need faith, again in a place where I am waiting for the Lord to break through. But instead of dreading that place, I think we should all greatly desire it. After all, when things are going well, I end up spending less time with God, and my prayers aren’t as fervent!

 

Personal Relection

This afternoon I’m going to be delving into why I can step out in such extreme faith in other ares of my life, but I am afraid of a lack of finances. Why am I so stressed out that my ribs would go out? 

Any stress I am experiencing goes to my back and, if it gets too bad, it throws out a rib. That’s where I am at the moment - stuck laying down because a rib went out. This is the first day I’ve been able to sit up in a while. My rib hasn’t gone out since 2006.

So getting right into it, clearly there are burdens in my own life that I should be giving to God that I am not. Last week when the financial breakthrough came, I was incredibly relieved. However, in that moment I saw the stress I was under for what it was and there was a large portion of the stress that wasn’t affected by the miracles of provision.

So what is it? My thinking that leadership is intercession; sharing in the pain of the people under you? Or my false assumption that I have to carry everyone on my back and my faith?

I have a problem. I expect that I will sacrifice, give up everything, pray, have faith etc, but I don’t expect the people around me to do the same thing. Naturally this means that I will be carrying burdens God never meant for me to carry. And it’s a fatal flaw in my discipleship… If I don’t teach people to do it all, what am I really teaching them? Christian life without sacrifice? I’ve always been shocked at how much health and wealth the American church preaches in Africa without meaning to… Have I done the same thing without meaning to?

If I preach the good and not the sacrifice and the bad, am I really creating full disciples out of the people under me? What happens when I leave? Will they be prepared? To the outside world I am a tremendous success but to me it feels like I’ am just discovering that I have dropped the ball on the most important part of God’s call on my life.

Paternalism - doing things for other people that they should be doing themselves. It’s our biggest enemy here and I thought I was doing well, only to realize its roots stretch deeper than I thought.

Ugh… I think the first step is to bring my team in on the issues we face at the moment. I need to give them the opportunities to sacrifice like I have had, in time as well as in finances. And I need to be putting them in situations where it is actually possible they fail and I don’t bail them out.

Rough Times

God can give you all you need. He will give you more than enough. You will have everything you need for yourselves. And you will have enough left over to give when there is a need. -2 Corinthians 9:8

Sunday was a rough day. I was at a really low point and finances were really bothering me. It takes $7,000 a month to keep us running and August and September only brought in $4,200. We had a couple bills we couldn’t pay and were in ‘creative accounting’ territory with some others - delaying payment so we could pay others. I was on the verge of picking up the phone and starting to call the people I knew that may be able to help in case of emergency, thinking this may be a test of my pride. I ended up choosing to contact some people God had put on my heart to encourage instead. Carla and I had a long conversation; she hasn’t been nearly as bothered this time around.

Then breakthrough started. After multiple months of no unexpected donations, we had 3 in the same day. Tuesday was breakthrough in our website work - after much discussion we had three people pay for work and a large contract for next year finalized. God came through again in incredible ways.

In college, living by faith was cool. We got to see God’s miracles around us and he provided over and over again for mission trip and other things he was laying on our heart. Then faith was me and Carla, going to Africa with less than $200 for 9 months but full of faith. That was scarier because it was our lives at risk; we knew no one and didn’t even know where we would be staying. But it was just us.

Then the kids came along. People started freaking out when they heard what kind of situations we’d be raising our children in… They only knew a small portion of it - that’s when we started down-playing some of the issues we were facing because others would worry if they actually knew the danger we were facing.

And then we started Equip Mozambique and things got even more real and more intense. Now other people and other families were depending on me. This responsibility is a great burden on me and the thought that we may not be able to pay salaries is always a huge worry. My friend pointed out to me…

“You’ve risked a lot of Jesus. You’ve sacrificed. Are you allowing others to risk and sacrifice as well?”

Anyway, today is a day of praise - that God does generously provide, and that we are taken care of. Today is also a day of reflection - why do I still feel this heavy burden when I am certain God will provide, and how can I give that to God? This seems like my never-ending struggle; as soon as I overcome it at some level, God ups the ante and I have more staff, larger projects, or more people depending on me. Maybe what I really need is a paradigm shift.

 

The Most Celebrated Giver

Jesus sat down near the collection box in the temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. Then a poor widow came and dropped in two small coins. Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I tell you the trust, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.” -Mark 12:41-44

Wow. Like everything Jesus, it’s just so counter-cultural. We celebrate the large donations, the huge amounts, and despise 50 cents here, $2 there… We look to the wealthy for advice on finances and life, and think the poor have nothing to give. Money is power, especially in Mozambique where there is absolutely no limit on what you can do with it. Want to sleep with a bunch of women? Want to kill and elephant or lion? Want to break the law? Everything has a price, even the things that should never be able to be bought.

So why did Jesus say this widow gave more than all the others? And, even more strangely for me, why didn’t he walk in and bless the socks off this lady? He could have given her an oil jar that never ran out, multiplied some bread, gave her money etc… But he didn’t. I have friends that give us $5 a month or $20 a month and they are so hard up financially I told them they really shouldn’t. But that wasn’t Jesus’s attitude.

And again, we’re back at money and back to a verse that quickly proves I don’t really understand money biblically. With leadership, the path is radically different than what the world does but I understand it; I understand why it works and how to go about doing it. Serve, consider others better than yourself… Though there are some basics, there are many nuances. But I get them and understand how these verses fit together.

Money? Not so much. The only thing I’m really good at is in not spending it, and having many ways of earning it. Even things as simple as “If you are annoyed at taking a job you are not getting paid enough for it” and “Other people can assume some of the risk” are things I am learning but at a slow pace.

And then 2 copper coins… I have my door wide open for large donors, people of influence and international visitors. Do I have it as open for widows, small donations, and the nobodies? Can I without driving myself insane? Do I see donations from the eyes of heaven or my natural eyes?

Just like the last lesson, Jesus isn't condemning the big donations but we should:

• Pay attention to the sacrifice the person made, not just the amount
• Not rush to helping people out in a transactional way when we know they are hurting

And in our own donations:

• Judge not on the number but on the sacrifice
• Give with joy and give willingly
• Avoid comparing ourselves to others or we may despise the little we can give when it may be the greatest gift at he moment.
  

 

Jesus Asks for Mercy Over Sacrifice

When Jesus heard this, he said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do.” Then he added, “Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: ‘I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.’ For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” -Matthew 9:12-13

Fascinating verse, particularly because mercy is an after-thought in many US churches. Sacrifice is held in quite high esteem - moving chairs, serving in the sound booth, children’s ministry, tithing, etc. What if we asked all the church volunteers if they showed mercy during the week before they started serving?

Mercy: You are owed something but you either delay getting it back or cancel the debt. Sacrifice: You are giving something of yourself for someone else or for a cause. Interestingly enough, mercy must be applied to other people - you can’t really be merciful to yourself and you can’t be merciful to God because He owes you nothing... However, sacrifice can be for yourself, God or others. It doesn’t even need to involve other people - you can be sacrificing for a cause.

I think this aspect of mercy is fascinating. Why are we so good at sacrifice and so terrible at mercy? So good at giving things up but so bad at giving things up for others? Jesus consistently talks about how we can show love to God through our interactions with others.

God, help me to see with your eyes, and give you want you are looking for, not what I want to give.