Love is Having Difficult Conversations

Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything in love. -1 Corinthians 16:13-14

The thing that immediately hits me is that you need to be firm in your faith, courageous, and strong in order to love. It’s like the first part is preparing you for the second. Once you are grounded and strong, you can love more.

Love is risk. Love is having difficult conversations with people when they don’t want to hear it. Love is courageous because you don’t know if you’ll be loved back. You are sticking your emotions out there and don’t know if it will be returned.

As the boss, love is having those difficult conversations when the situation is small and before it gets out of hand and their job is on the line. I have to meet with a team member this week because he is showing too many signs of pride and isn’t getting along with the rest of the team. I don’t want to, but love is pointing out what I see now and giving him the opportunity to change rather than waiting for it to get bad enough to fire him.

As a ministry partner, love is standing in the gap and speaking the truth even when I don’t want to. To really show love, I have to stand up, against the other missionaries and on behalf of the Mozambicans. We have a train-wreck of a situation that’s about to happen with the school we are starting - there is a high possibility we’ll start in January with just 8 kids unless a massive shift happens in the core team’s thinking. I don’t want to fight the rest of the team, but in this situation, love looks like calling out the situation for what it is and fighting for the poorest before the problem metastasizes. Running away or staying silent is easy and it won’t work. What is difficult is prayerfully building relationships and finding what I can say to each person to make them realize the situation.

God, give me strength today. Teach me courage, for I want to show real love.

 

Jesus Asks for Mercy Over Sacrifice

When Jesus heard this, he said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do.” Then he added, “Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: ‘I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.’ For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” -Matthew 9:12-13

Fascinating verse, particularly because mercy is an after-thought in many US churches. Sacrifice is held in quite high esteem - moving chairs, serving in the sound booth, children’s ministry, tithing, etc. What if we asked all the church volunteers if they showed mercy during the week before they started serving?

Mercy: You are owed something but you either delay getting it back or cancel the debt. Sacrifice: You are giving something of yourself for someone else or for a cause. Interestingly enough, mercy must be applied to other people - you can’t really be merciful to yourself and you can’t be merciful to God because He owes you nothing... However, sacrifice can be for yourself, God or others. It doesn’t even need to involve other people - you can be sacrificing for a cause.

I think this aspect of mercy is fascinating. Why are we so good at sacrifice and so terrible at mercy? So good at giving things up but so bad at giving things up for others? Jesus consistently talks about how we can show love to God through our interactions with others.

God, help me to see with your eyes, and give you want you are looking for, not what I want to give.