Starting Anew

 

The past couple weeks have been interesting for me. Carla and I have no idea what we are doing in the nonprofit world. This is at once terrifying and liberating. In Mozambique, the news is always full of million dollar grants to fight AIDS, 10 million for some infrastructure project etc, but people rarely see any of the benefits of these projects. Some of the projects are completed but don’t really strike at the heart of the issues; others are never completed; others are greatly diminished from what they said they were going to be.

If we did things the way others did, we would have spent more time in the US and more time preparing before we left. We would have had all the money prepared for 5 years out and we would have made all the decisions about “what is best for the Mozambican people” with a group of Americans, most of whom have never stepped foot on the continent. We would have been more comfortable and respected both here and in the US but our impact would be next to nothing.

As it was, we left with little support and little clear vision on what we were doing, just an insane call to change what was truly wrong with Mozambique. We thought we were coming to plant a school but nothing was the way it was told to us and when we arrived there was absolutely nothing ready for us; no team, no plan, no documents, no financing. But God didn’t have us here to build a school.

The way we came into the city, we had no car and nothing of value except knowledge. When the Mozambicans in power realized how little we have, they despised us and didn’t value our teaching or partnership. We were no one in their eyes.

But in that time, in our time of riding local transport and living like we were no one, that is when we
really started to understand the deep problems Mozambicans face daily. That is when others saw us as human. that is when the trust began to build, others saw us cry and have problems and really understand that we were people too.

Now things are different in Mozambique. Everyone wants to be our friend now that we have an office and a car and employees. Everyone wants to get to know us now, and unlike when we came into the city, we have the ability to change things. But our greatest asset are the relationships, the trust, and the human connections we built in our times of nothing.

If we had done things the “Right way”, sure we would have money and comfort, but we wouldn’t have our most valuable assets - that trust and relationship that is so critical to getting anything done here in Mozambique.

 2 Corinthians has been really challenging me. It’s like the anti-Jon book. Basically the entire thing can be broken into 3 sections of things I absolutely refuse to do - attacking others who spread the gospel, boasting about what we have done or God has done through us, and spending chapters and chapters discussing finances. What the heck… Not only are these things the very things I don’t do, but I oppose doing them on moral grounds. That there is an entire book of the Bible that is dedicated to them makes me decidedly uncomfortable.

Now, I am aware that this is not necessarily a bad thing… If there is something in the Bible I don’t agree with, then that is a chance for me to grow and change. What makes this even more uncomfortable for me is that these 3 aspects of 2 Corinthians that I dislike so much are essentially the 3 things about the nonprofit world that I dislike and have been extremely resistant to doing…

So here I am. I don’t know another way of doing ministry or life, but the way all this is coming together, I know God is trying to change something in me. Sadly, I believe whatever He is trying to change is something so deeply ingrained in me that I probably don’t even see the full extent of it, and I absolutely have no idea how to change it. All I can say is “yes Lord, whatever the cost".